Are you happy with the help you are getting from your therapist?
- Am I comfortable talking about what my partner does and how it affects me? Some things will be harder to talk about than others, but you should at least feel somewhat comfortable getting started.
- Does my therapist focus on getting me to change so that my partner will treat me better? You may think this is legitimate, especially if your partner tells you everything is your fault, but an abuser is unlikely to treat you better just because you make changes in yourself. Haven’t you already tried that? Has it worked? Your therapist should help you get beyond blaming yourself, not help you continue doing so. Think about finding another therapist if the therapist judges you in any way for being abused.
- Does my therapist push me to do things that I’m not ready for (such as leaving) or that I’m not sure I want (such as couple counseling)?
- Does my therapist think leaving my partner will solve everything, and that there’s something wrong with me if I don’t leave immediately? Is getting me to leave their main goal? Think about finding another therapist if the one you have does not understand the dangers you face if you leave, or your reluctance to do so.